


Unfortunate Moths

by Cas_tellations



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, YO I WROTE SOMETHING, bc i did try (kindof), but u should still read it, do i like it?, idk - Freeform, idk how i feel about this tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_tellations/pseuds/Cas_tellations
Summary: you keep calling me over to get rid of spiders from your apartment and i’m pretending i don’t know you’re not afraid of them at all because i miss you too





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi look what i wrote   
> im not sure how i feel about this if im being honest   
> i just saw this prompt and thought it was cute but then had no idea how to write it  
> it was going to be longer but i failed

  
  


 

 

“Please?” Dan whined over the phone, after hearing Phil’s exasperated sigh. 

 

It was the third time that week where Dan had practically begged Phil to come over to ‘Get the fucking bug out of my house it’s scary please’ 

 

At this rate, they were seeing more of each other now than they had been when they were actually in a relationship. 

 

Phil didn’t really mind, thought. It was nice, in a way, to be able to see Dan again. They had left their relationship on okay terms, so it wasn’t too awkward or anything, plus, he did miss Dan, to some extent. 

 

“Fine.” Phil replied, hanging up before either of them had a chance to say goodbye. 

 

It was just after 7am in the morning and Phil was waking up to get a  _ spider  _ out of his ex-boyfriends house. 

 

He couldn’t even bring himself to care about how weird it was. 

 

He didn’t bother to get dressed, because pajamas were much more comfortable and anyways, Dan lived in the same apartment building, just on another floor, and really, he was just going to get back into bed as soon as he got home so why bother getting into skinny jeans and a nice-looking shirt? 

 

Two minutes later he was knocking on Dan’s door, fully aware that he was just wearing pajamas and that his hair was still all mussed up and  _ fuck  _ it was blurry because he forgot his glasses and contacts are for people who actually want to do something with their lives. 

 

Dan opened the door to Phil, a small smile playing on his face. Unlike Phil apparently, Dan liked to wake up early. And get dressed early. 

 

His pastel aesthetic was as strong as ever, a flower crown sitting slightly lopsided on his curly hair, White skinny jeans and a two-sizes-too-big light pink T-shirt hanging off his thin frame. 

 

“Where is it?” Phil asked, his voice still thick and scratchy from sleep. 

 

“In the bedroom.” Dan answered softly, blushing slightly. 

 

Phil sent him a smirk, but he didn’t really mean it. He missed Dan, sure, and seeing him again did send a shiver down his spine, but he wasn’t sure if it was anything more than ‘missing the person who he used to be bestfriends with, not to mention boyfriends with.’ 

 

Dan hung behind him as he walked into the bedroom, 

 

“There.” Dan said, pointing to the corner above his desk. 

 

Phil looked, and with a hint of surprise, he saw the spider. It was real, unlike that one time when Dan had claimed there was a spider but it ended up just being one of those cheap plastic ones that you put in fake cobwebs at Halloween. 

 

Phil rolled his eyes and climbed up onto Dan’s desk, ignoring the various bits of paper and coloured pens that fell to the ground when he accidentally knocked into them. 

  
He felt kind of sorry for the spider. It just wanted to live quietly in a corner of a bedroom, peacefully murdering various other bugs and softly sucking all the life out of his or her victims. 

 

But Dan was apparently scared of it, which frankly was bullshit because Dan had never been scared of spider when they were together so the only plausible reason for him asking Phil to come over constantly had to be because he missed him. 

 

Phil couldn’t really blame him, he missed Dan too. 

 

Maybe not to the point where he’d lie many times a week just to get him to come over, but still. 

 

So he just pretended he didn’t know that Dan wasn’t afraid of them and grabbed the spider, glancing down before he jumped back onto the ground. 

 

But what his eyes caught sight of made his heart freeze. 

 

Hurriedly shoved between the bed and the desk, were alcohol bottles. 

 

Not once, in the whole time that they were together, had Dan ever drank. Not even a sip of wine on a fancy date or a beer while watching a movie. It was always Phil who drank, and even then it was far from excessive. 

 

The room was messy, Phil had, of course, noticed this when he walked in but now instead of seeing simply a messy room, he saw someone who had no motivation to clean, so unlike Dan usually was. Instead of seeing rough sketches and poems scrawled onto various bits of paper, he saw someone who was desperate to get the thoughts out of his head and on to something tangible. 

 

“Dan.” Phil whispered, slipping off the desk and turning to the smaller boy. 

 

“What?” He asked, fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Phil said, trying to keep his voice calm and steady. 

 

“What d’you mean by that?” Dan questioned, “Everything’s fine.”

 

Phil sighed, rolling his eyes and stalking over to the window, throwing the spider outside and then returning back to the desk, hooking his fingers around the corner of it and yanking it away from the bed, the bottles and cans slipping down and spilling out onto the floor. 

 

Guilt. The emotion filled Dan’s face. He looked guilty and sad and Phil wanted nothing more than to just hug him but he knew he couldn’t so he settled for swallowing thickly and shouldering past Dan, leaving his room and going in search for a garbage bag to clean up the mess. 

 

Dan didn’t try to justify anything. He just sat himself on the edge of his bed and watched as Phil picked up all the empty bottle and threw them away, one by one, a frown on his face the whole time. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He managed to say nearly ten minutes later, when Phil had finished cleaning it up and sat beside Dan on the bed. 

 

“Sorry’s not gonna cut it.” Phil replied, standing up and wondering why he had sat down in the first place. 

 

“Get some help.” He stated, as he left. 

 

-

 

It was two days later when Dan called again, and apart from one awkward lift experience together, they hadn’t seen each other. 

 

“It’s a moth.” 

 

“Catch it yourself.” 

 

“I can’t.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“It’s a moth.” 

 

“So?” 

 

“It’s a moth.” 

 

“Ugh.”  

 

Five minutes later, Phil found himself back in Dan’s apartment, chasing a moth with an old butterfly net that hadn’t been used in years. 

 

Dan screamed when the moth somehow darted towards him with a speed that Usain Bolt would be proud of. 

 

Phil had to force himself to not laugh at the 5’6 curly-haired pastel boy that was curled up in a ball on the couch his his arms over his head, screaming at Phil to; “Just kill it kill it kill it please oh god kill it Phil!” 

 

But the moth deceived him. He had thought that it would fly left, but instead it ducked down and flew right. Phil growled and waved the net in front of it, but it  darted away. 

 

“Kill it!” Dan repeated screamed, a nice background noise for Phil as he literally jumped onto the coffee table to viciously stab the butterfly net in the general direction of the monster. 

 

Almost half an hour later, Phil finally caught the moth in the net and laid it out on the coffee table for Dan to drop an encyclopedia onto it, killing it instantly. 

 

“Finally.” Dan sighed, flopping back onto the couch, this time not tense with fear. 

 

“Finally.” Phil agreed, looking confused for a split second before turning to leave. There wasn’t any point to staying now that the moth problem was solved. 

 

“Nonononono wait.” Phil heard Dan whine quietly.

 

He paused, with one hand on the doorknob. 

 

But he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t spend any more time with Dan and he couldn’t stay with the person that he used to love. 

 

He pretended that he didn’t hear what Dan said and left, the door slamming shut behind him. 

 

He wills away the tears and tells himself to grow up, clicking the button for the elevator and tapping his fingers against his thigh when it doesn’t come right away. 

 

At this rate, it’d be faster to just walk up the  _ stairs.  _

 

But it did come eventually and he was able to just barely keep himself together until he closed to door to his apartment behind him and promptly fell apart. 

 

It wasn’t pretty, it never was. 

 

Novels and movies always seem to try and romanticize it when somebody loses a part of who they are, but in reality it’s not like that in the slightest. 

 

In reality, in this stupid fucked up world that we somehow live in, it’s not pretty. It’s biting down on your hand so that you don’t scream, leaving behind angry red marks. It’s falling to the ground because your legs don’t seem to work anymore. It’s having tears stream down your face so much that your vision is clouded and blurry. It’s wanting to hurt yourself just because physical pain is more easily understood than whatever emotional stuff was happening.

 

-

  
  


Phil didn’t go into work the next day. He just couldn’t find the motivation to get out of bed. Maybe it was stupid, maybe he should have forced himself to go even if he didn’t want to. 

 

But he didn’t force himself to go. 

 

Instead, he made some popcorn, put on an anime and tried to forget that a certain pastel brown-haired boy didn’t exist.  

 

But he always seemed to come to his mind. It was horrible, he’d be in the middle of a really good episode of some obscure anime, and then suddenly a memory would be overtaking him and no matter how hard he tried to push it to the back of his mind, it kept reappearing. 

 

_ Dan is curled up on his side, his head pillowed by Phil’s arm. His breathing is slow and soft, his eyes shut and his mouth parted slightly.  _

_ “Goodnight.” Phil whispers, even though Dan is too deeply asleep to hear him, or to feel him as Phil presses his lips against Dan’s forehead in a chaste kiss, giggling quietly as Dan subconsciously leans into his touch.  _

_ The T.V show that they had been watching still played on in the background, but neither of them had really been paying any attention to it anyway.  _

_ Dan looks like the pure definition of adorable, his curly hair all mussed up and still wet from a late-night after-sex shower. The flower crown that he so often wore had been discarded to the floor, along side various other articles of clothing.  _

_ Skin on skin, pressed together, the most comfortable that Phil has ever been. He doesn’t want to move but knows that eventually Dan will wake up and do something other than just lounging around in bed all day.  _

 

Phil squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to let the sounds of the anime wash over him, trying to drown out the memories before they completely took over him. 

 

_ Dan is laughing, his whole face lit up with joy, falling to the floor he was laughing so much. Phil can tell that Dan is barely breathing but hey, it’s fine because he’s happy and tears are streaming down his face but in a good way. Phil is trying to glare at him but can’t because Dan just looks so cute. But he does wipe the pink cupcake icing off his chin and rolls his eyes, gently taking the cupcake that Dan was holding and places it back on the counter, out of reach of the boy who thinks it’s funny to start a food fight with pink icing-covered cupcakes.  _

_ When Dan does calm down enough to stop laughing, he’s still smiling like the little fuck that he is.  _

 

Phil feels almost empty. He shakes his head like the movement will make the memories fly away.  __

 

_ Dan was just the right size to lift up onto the kitchen counter and make out with, his legs easily wrapping around Phil’s hips and pulling him closer. Phil’s hands are tugging at Dan’s hair, making him whine into Phil’s lips, their tongues wet and heavy inside each other’s mouths.  _

 

The next time that Phil’s phone rang, he actually answered it. 

 

“Hullo?” He asked, trying to mask how tired his voice sounded. 

 

“Hi.” Dan’s voice sounded small.

 

“Another moth?” Phil asked, forcing his tone of voice to stay light.

 

“No.” Small. So small. Phil wanted to hug him. 

 

“What, then?” He couldn’t risk being soft with him. They weren’t together anymore, he couldn’t act like they were, it would only hurt both of them so much more. 

 

“C-Can…” Dan cleared his throat, “Can you come over? Please?” Tiny. Smaller than every before. He sounded like he was going to cry. Or fall apart. Or both. Phil didn’t even bother cursing himself for wanting to hug Dan anymore. 

 

“Yeah, one second okay? Hold on one second. I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

Hang Up the phone. Get off the couch. Find the T.V remote. Pause the anime. Get dressed. Don’t bother brushing your hair it’s not that important. Now run, you’re gonna be all sweaty but why the fuck do you care you need to go find you small pastel ex-boyfriend and see what’s wrong. Knock on said ex-boyfriends door and try to control your breathing, it’ll look weird if you’re all out of breath from running up two flights of stairs to see the ex-boyfriend and oh shit the door is opening are you ready are you ready are you rea- you’re not ready. 

 

Phil hugs Dan without thinking. He’s pretty sure that he’s caught Dan by surprise but can’t really tell because Dan’s arms are holding him back with just as much desperation. 

 

Small. So small. 

 

Dan somehow manages to turn and close the door while still holding onto Phil and Phil, caught up in their old routine, lifts Dan up by his waist and feels Dan’s legs wrap around his hips and his hands lacing themselves behind Phil’s neck and his head was buried in the crook of Phil’s neck and Phil was unthinkingly carrying Dan over to the sofa in the lounge and sitting down, letting Dan curl farther into him. 

 

He tried to ignore how quick and irregular Dan’s breaths were and how fast his heartbeats raced against his chest. 

 

“Are you okay?” Phil asked gently. Maybe it was minutes later or maybe it was hours later but no-one was really paying any attention to the time as time is a concept that humans have created and it doesn’t really exist.

 

Phil feels Dan shaking his head, no, no he wasn’t okay. 

 

“What’s wrong.” 

 

But Dan didn’t answer. Dan, with his bloodshot eyes and shaky voice and soft curly hair and pink flower crowns, stayed silent. 

 

Phil tried to hold him tighter, tried to reassure him that everything would be okay but Dan didn’t say anything. He wasn’t crying or shaking or yelling, he was bottling it all up inside and it was  eating away at him and Phil could tell how much Dan was hurting but Dan was unable to do anything to help himself. 

 

Phil rubbed one hand around in circles on Dan’s back, feeling his muscles tight underneath the skin. 

 

“It’s going to be okay, It’s going to be okay, It’s going to be okay,” Phil repeated over and over, trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Dan. 

 

Eventually, Dan fell asleep against Phil, soothed by just the presence of another person. 

 

Phil picked Dan up like a baby and carried him to his bedroom, laying him down then pulling the pastel blue duvet up over his thin frame. 

 

He didn’t want to stay in Dan’s apartment, it was full of ghosts and memories that he only wanted to forget, but at the same time, he couldn’t just leave. He could never just leave. 

 

Instead he made tea and sat down in the lounge and drank the tea slowly so that it wouldn't burn his tongue and went through his phone, looking through all the pictures of them together that he had forgotten to delete after they had broken up. 

 

They were nice pictures. They held some nice memories that now were tainted and bittersweet, but nice nonetheless. 

 

Phil had fallen asleep on Dan’s sofa. It hadn’t really been planned, he was just tired so he decided to lay down and then suddenly he was drifting off into sleep. 

 

He woke up hours later to the smell of pancakes and coffee. Memories washed over him. He couldn’t count to amount of times that he had waken up tot the exact same thing, except this time it was different because when he walked into the kitchen, he wouldn't be greeted with a soft smile and a kiss. 

 

Instead, when he walked into the kitchen, he was greeted instead with a timid smile and a quiet; “Hello”

 

“Hey.” Phil replied, just as softly. 

 

Dan ducked his head and went back to focusing on the pancakes, jumping a little in surprise when Phil came up behind him and slid his hands around Dan’s waist, leaning down a bit to rest his chin of Dan’s shoulder. 

 

Dan tried his best not to blush. 

 

Phil noticed the thin pink spreading across Dan’s cheeks, matching his pale pink jumper nicely. 

 

“We have to talk.” Phil murmured. He felt Dan stiffen and reached for Dan’s hand to give it a little reassuring squeeze before letting it gone and backing away from the pastel boy. 

 

They ate pancakes in silence and Phil helped Dan wash the dishes after but then there was nothing to be except talk about what had been happening but neither of them really wanted to start the inevitable conversation and Dan started fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt and Phil started thinking that maybe it would just be easier for both of them if they just left each other alone and went their separate ways. 

 

But they did end up talking. For hours. Literally. 

 

Phil had started off by stated; “You’ve been drinking.” Which probably wasn’t the best thing to say as Dan looked scared and shrunk down into the couch, biting his lip, an old habit that he subconsciously did when he was filled with fear. 

 

But eventually everything was fine.

 

Well, kind-of. 

 

It was better than it had been, at least. 

 

They hugged goodbye when Phil said that he had to leave, even though it was lowkey awkward and neither of them really knew how long to hold it for. 

 

But it left Phil craving Dan’s touch more than before, which was saying something. 

 

-

 

Phil was asleep the next time Dan called, the phone waking him up. He didn’t look to see who was calling before he was answering it and Dan’s voice was screaming at him though the phone.

 

“Get your ass over here right now you little fuck they’re attacking me!” 

 

It was 3am. 

 

But he hauled himself out of bed anyway. Fuck getting dressed he was wearing sweatpants and that was enough because honestly who cares and anyway, Dan’s seen him in less before. 

 

He didn’t even knock, he just walked right into Dan’s apartment, following the little shrieks of terror into Dan’s room and saw him curled up in bed, the bright screen of his laptop attracting about 4 different moths. 

 

He laughed. 

 

He couldn’t stop fucking laughing. 

 

There was just something so funny about the whole situation, that his 3am tired mind could understand and it just made him laugh. Hysterically. 

 

He could barely breath, he was laughing so much. Dan was yelling something about: “I fucking hate you, you little shit you have to help me they’re everywhere get up off your stupid little ass and save me!!!!” 

 

“How are all these bugs even getting into your flat?” Phil asked, ten minutes later when he had finally ‘saved’ Dan from the moths by slamming his laptop shut, grabbing Dan’s hand and dragging him out of bed and into the lounge. The moths didn’t follow them there, so Phil just guessed that they’d be safe there for the time being. 

 

Dan sighed and leaned against Phil’s shoulder,

 

“I have no idea.”

 

“Well, you better figure it out or else they’ll keep coming.” Phil giggled, not pushing Dan away. 

 

“Thanks.” Dan muttered a while later. 

 

“No problem babe.” Phil replied instinctively. 

 

_ Oh shit.  _

 

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that.” He said, even though it was too late to retract that last word.

 

“It’s fine.” Dan whispered softly, “I don’t mind.” 

 

“I’m still sorry.” Phil said, looking down at the ground, suddenly wishing that he had put on a shirt when he had left his own flat. 

 

“I missed you and your little pet names for me.” Dan confessed a minute later, and at this point there was no going back so he just added a few more words to the end; “I missed you.”

 

Phil couldn’t quite remember how to breath but when he did, he wrapped one arm around Dan’s shoulders and tugged the smaller boy closer. 

 

“I missed you, too.” He whispered, as if he was afraid to actually voice what he was feeling. 

 

-

 

The next week, when Dan asked Phil out on a date, Phil said yes.

 

The week after that, when Phil asked Dan to be his boyfriend again, Dan said yes. 

 

-

 

“Are you eating my cereal?” Dan shouted, running down the hallway and into the kitchen, catching a very guilty-looking Phil Lester. 

 

“Um.” Phil said, looking down at the cereal in his hand then back up to Dan. 

 

“Sorry?” He put the cereal back into the box and threw it onto the counter. 

 

Dan giggled, dimples appearing on his cheeks. 

 

“You still love me.” Phil said, watching as Dan’s face went from the angry mom look to one of happiness. 

 

“Yeah I guess.” Dan agreed. 

 

 

fin-

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi i hope u liked that (except wtf was that ending???? idk either i hate it just as much as u do i promise ew why do i even write these fic anymore)
> 
>  
> 
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> 
> i need comments literally they're the only thing that keeps me writing


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